The following is a partial list of lessons I didn't realize I'd forgotten until my second child came along and reminded me of them:
- Even if you just changed your baby’s diaper 5 minutes ago you should still check it before taking it off to put them in the bathtub.
- Babies are not embarrassed by pooping in their own bathwater.
- As soon as you set down on the potty yourself, your child will need you urgently. (Or will get into something and make a mess that takes hours to clean up.)
- The threat of “I will spank you” doesn’t mean anything until your child has actually been spanked and understood the language involved.
- If it can be opened, they will somehow do it. No matter how child-proof it is.
- If it is open they will go inside.
- No matter how routine and orderly things are, and no matter how well behaved your children are, the minute mommy walks out the door chaos will break out.
- If you don’t have your cell phone with you and mommy’s number on speed dial, you will not be able to call her for help. You will just have to tread water until she returns home on her own.
- With each sequential interruption of your sleep, your exhaustion will be multiplied by 4 the next day.
- You have to have your eyes open to play trains, feed your baby, cook on the stove, get dressed, etc…
- Always keep the baby food container out of baby’s reach while feeding baby!
- Poop still defies gravity when it remains in the diaper. Eventually you will be wearing it also.
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