A Nice Surprise

What a nice surprise to have when you turn on your computer in the morning!! Pictures of Carson! He is getting so big and changing so much. What a cutie!!












I always hesitate when posting new pictures of Carson...not that I'm not excited...because every adopted parent lives for pictures and updates on their babies. You leave the computer on all day....just in case! LOL. But when you are going through an adoption you get close to other families who are also adopting....and there is always someone going through a major roadblock… you don’t want to add to their stress.

When I see a family going through a difficult time in the adoption process I just hurt so much for them. Most people watching see the beginning and then the happy ending, but they don't see the agonizing ride on the runaway rollercoaster that is in between. There are times when you hurt so much you just don't want to get out of bed. And if you have just one more bump in the road your going to reach through the computer screen and punch someone in the face!! And you feel like everyone else’s adoption process is going so smoothly...even though deep down you know that no process is ever completely bump free! You feel absolutely helpless and it is not a good feeling. So you may ask: Why do you do it? How do you do it?

Well, the why part is easy. I look at Jacob and Carson and I can't imagine life without them. God put the desire to adopt in our hearts. I don't know why God chose to bless us with children this way, but I am so glad He did.

The how do you do it part is not as easy. Our perspective comes from our experiences. It’s easier to deal with the road blocks thrown at you and still trust in God when you have seen Him create an awesome finale in spite of these obstacles. The journey to adopting Jacob was a very long and difficult process. We look back now and can see the way God was working all the way through it. His timing was perfect. So when things get difficult we start talking about those times when God did this or that. It helps us remember that He is in control and He does care about the things we care about. It also shows us that he was with us then and He will be with us now.

The bible study I attend also has a bible study for my 3 year old. He has learned that the bible is God’s word and that since it is God’s word everything in the bible is true! He has also learned that God always keeps His promises. So, if we truly believe that how can we think that God’s plan for our adoption is wrong… that the road blocks we have are not just part of His plan. That He knows what He is doing. I wish I could say that I always praise God in the road blocks…but some of you know me way to well. It hurts something awful, and sometimes I need to vent or just be by myself and cry. But in the end I believe that my God has a plan for my adoption and that He loves me more than I can every understand. He knows what He is doing and I don’t. So I have to trust and believe that His timing is perfect and mine is not. He knows that I am hurting and He shows me how much He loves me by giving me great friends who walk through this journey with me.

That is why I hesitate in posting updates and pictures on my blog. I don’t want someone else’s grief stirred up because things are not going as well for them at that time. So when I do post updates and pictures, know that I am also thinking and praying for those who are experiencing rough times in their adoption.